My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
