He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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