Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
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I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
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she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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