At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I will pee on everything he values.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
