Tell her she can't have a vagina
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
