where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
