I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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