I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I party with great urgency now.
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