Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
