You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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