there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just high enough for therapy.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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