i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
