I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
They took my balls.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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