would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
