those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize