I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize