I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
