When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner