I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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