3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
