There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
