I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
