At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
