you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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