So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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