i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
