Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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