I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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