We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
