you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
