In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
