you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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