I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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