i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
