If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
