I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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