Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
