she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
