I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
