How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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