At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
