why didn't you poke me back
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Oh god it's open bar.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize