We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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