Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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