What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
