if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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