Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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