Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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