he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
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