im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize