I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
