So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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