WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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