Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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