He is an equal opportunity slut.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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