I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
