jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
