Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
