he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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