SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
