even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
When are your genitals available?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize