So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I need to align my fucking chakras
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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