shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize