Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
