She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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