Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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