Tell her she can't have a vagina
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
