we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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