weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
