How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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