I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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