so that wasnt chicken after all
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
