Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
