? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Drunk is not a location!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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